G\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc a\u00e7t\u0131\u011f\u0131nda nerede oldu\u011funu bilememi\u015fti. Boynu, sa\u00e7lar\u0131 ter i\u00e7indeydi. Yast\u0131\u011fa ge\u00e7en \u0131slakl\u0131k sanki buz kesmi\u015f, ensesine b\u0131\u00e7ak gibi saplanm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131ndaki kirli beyaz duvarda g\u00f6zlerini gezdirdi. Koca bir \u00e7iviye as\u0131l\u0131 bir y\u0131l \u00f6ncesini g\u00f6steren takvimin yapraklar\u0131 May\u0131s\u2019a kadar hoyrat\u00e7a kopar\u0131lm\u0131\u015f, geriye kalan g\u00fcnler ko\u00e7an\u0131nda kalakalm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Tavandan sarkan \u00e7\u0131plak ampulden yay\u0131lan c\u0131l\u0131z \u0131\u015f\u0131k, kap\u0131n\u0131n yan\u0131ndaki perdesiz pencereden s\u0131zan g\u00fcn\u00fcn ilk ayd\u0131nl\u0131\u011f\u0131yla birle\u015fince, bu k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck odan\u0131n yoksul so\u011fuklu\u011fu kemiklerine dek i\u015fliyordu. Giysileri, ba\u015fucundaki sandalyeye i\u00e7i bo\u015falt\u0131lm\u0131\u015f bir beden gibi at\u0131l\u0131vermi\u015fti. Battaniyeyi \u00fcst\u00fcnden att\u0131. Biraz do\u011frulmaya yeltendi. Somyan\u0131n g\u0131c\u0131rt\u0131s\u0131 iniltisine kar\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Belinden ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131n arkas\u0131na y\u00fckselen a\u011fr\u0131, s\u0131rt\u0131n\u0131 boydan boya y\u0131rtan bir pen\u00e7e gibiydi. \u00dcst\u00fcnde \u00e7oraplar\u0131ndan ba\u015fka bir \u015fey yoktu.<\/p>\n
Darac\u0131k, u\u00e7suz-bucaks\u0131z sokaklarda dola\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, Hasan\u2019\u0131n meyhanesinde i\u00e7meye ba\u015flad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 an\u0131msad\u0131. Bunun d\u0131\u015f\u0131nda, g\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcn \u00f6n\u00fcnden sigara duman\u0131 i\u00e7inde pek se\u00e7emedi\u011fi yabanc\u0131 y\u00fczler, daha \u00f6nce hi\u00e7 bulunmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 yerler ge\u00e7iyordu. Derin bir korkuya kap\u0131ld\u0131. Onu bu odaya kim getirmi\u015fti? D\u0131\u015far\u0131ya \u00e7\u0131kabilecek miydi?<\/p>\n
\u00c7\u0131plakl\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan utanm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. \u00dcst\u00fcndeki yap\u0131\u015fkan pislik, sanki kendisini daha da savunmas\u0131z b\u0131rak\u0131yordu. Ac\u0131n\u0131lacak durumunu izlemekten \u00fcrkt\u00fc. G\u00f6zlerini ovu\u015ftururken, sendeleyerek aya\u011fa kalkt\u0131. Giysilerine uzand\u0131. H\u0131zla giyindi. Pantolonuna, g\u00f6mle\u011fine sinmi\u015f o koku, her g\u00f6zene\u011finden durmadan f\u0131\u015fk\u0131ran terle birle\u015fince \u00f6l\u00fcme s\u00fcr\u00fckleyen bir a\u011f\u0131ya d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc. Bu odada t\u0131k\u0131l\u0131p kalkmak korkusuyla kap\u0131n\u0131n koluna at\u0131ld\u0131. Neyse ki, a\u00e7abilmi\u015fti. D\u0131\u015far\u0131daki serin esinti y\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc y\u0131kam\u0131\u015f, ci\u011ferlerine dolan hava onu biraz olsun kendine getirmi\u015fti. Ayakkab\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131 e\u015fikte buldu.<\/p>\n
K\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck avlu y\u00fcksek duvarlarla \u00e7evrilmi\u015fti. Duvar kenar\u0131na boydan dizili saks\u0131larda karanfiller, sardunyalar, k\u00fcpeliler kurumaya y\u00fcz tutmu\u015ftu. K\u00f6\u015fedeki tulumbadan \u00e7ekti\u011fi suyla y\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc y\u0131kad\u0131. Ceplerinde her \u015fey yerli yerindeydi, ama mendilini bulamad\u0131. Ellerini silkeleyerek, aral\u0131k b\u0131rak\u0131lm\u0131\u015f \u00e7it kap\u0131dan soka\u011fa \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131. Bu mahalleyi an\u0131ms\u0131yordu. Derme \u00e7atma onar\u0131lm\u0131\u015f ah\u015fap evler, \u00e7\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131 kiremitlerle yamanm\u0131\u015f \u00e7at\u0131lar, onu dost\u00e7a kucakl\u0131yordu. Kent, iyice a\u015fa\u011f\u0131larda kalm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Yoku\u015f a\u015fa\u011f\u0131 y\u00fcr\u00fcd\u00fc. \u0130lerde bir kap\u0131n\u0131n \u00f6n\u00fcnde, mor salk\u0131m\u0131n alt\u0131nda oturan ya\u015fl\u0131 adam, onu g\u00f6r\u00fcnce aya\u011fa kalkt\u0131, g\u00fcl\u00fcmseyerek,<\/p>\n
\u201cAh o\u011ful, gece karanl\u0131\u011f\u0131nda bizi epey u\u011fra\u015ft\u0131rd\u0131n,\u201d dedi. O ise, ne diyece\u011fini bilemeden, \u201c Kusura bakmay\u0131n, ba\u015f\u0131ma hi\u00e7 b\u00f6yle bir i\u015f gelmemi\u015fti,\u201d diye m\u0131r\u0131ldanmakla yetindi. Olan biteni an\u0131msayamad\u0131\u011f\u0131 i\u00e7in utanc\u0131 bir kat daha artm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Ya\u015fl\u0131 adam,<\/p>\n
\u201c Beni tan\u0131yamad\u0131n de\u011fil mi? Y\u0131llar \u00e7\u00f6kertti Mustafa amcan\u0131, insan i\u00e7ine \u00e7\u0131kacak hal b\u0131rakmad\u0131. Ama ben seni hemen tan\u0131d\u0131m o karanl\u0131kta. Yeti\u015fip sana sahip \u00e7\u0131kmasam gen\u00e7ler baya bir h\u0131rpalayacaklard\u0131 seni. Dire\u011fin dibinde indin taksiden. Z\u0131rlay\u0131p duruyordun. Ne dedi\u011fin anla\u015f\u0131l\u0131r gibi de\u011fildi. Arada bir, \u2018Kendi ba\u015f\u0131ma b\u0131rak\u0131n beni,\u2019 diye naralar savuruyordun. \u2018Bizim \u00f6\u011fretmen Melek Han\u0131m\u2019\u0131n o\u011flu Suat bu! Kald\u0131r\u0131n biraz su verelim,\u2019\u00a0 dedim ba\u015f\u0131nda toplananlara. Sonra da yeni sitede bek\u00e7ili\u011fe ba\u015flad\u0131\u011f\u0131 i\u00e7in buradan ta\u015f\u0131nan S\u00fcleymanlar\u0131n bize emanet ettikleri evlerine g\u00f6t\u00fcrd\u00fck, yat\u0131rd\u0131k seni.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSuat\u201d, diye ge\u00e7irdi i\u00e7inden. Kendi ad\u0131n\u0131 ilk kez duyuyordu sanki. Annesinin sevecen kucaklay\u0131\u015f\u0131n\u0131 an\u0131msad\u0131. Mustafa amcan\u0131n k\u0131z\u0131na arka \u00e7\u0131k\u0131p, onun hukuk \u00f6\u011frenimi g\u00f6rmesini sa\u011flayan \u00f6\u011fretmen Melek Han\u0131m, o\u011flunun da ba\u015far\u0131l\u0131 bir mimar olmas\u0131 i\u00e7in \u00e7\u0131rp\u0131nm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. On y\u0131l \u00f6nce \u00f6lm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc annesi. Yan\u0131nda olamam\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Ba\u015f\u0131ndan ayr\u0131lmayan kom\u015fular\u0131yla hel\u00e2lle\u015firken dudaklar\u0131nda donup kalan g\u00fcl\u00fcmsemesiyle tabutunda kar\u015f\u0131lam\u0131\u015ft\u0131 o\u011flunu. O s\u0131ralar duydu\u011fu pi\u015fmanl\u0131k, y\u00fcre\u011fini burkan bir g\u00fc\u00e7le yeniden yakas\u0131na yap\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Kentten kente s\u00fcr\u00fcp giden i\u015f gezileri, \u00fcniversitedeki \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmalar\u0131 y\u00fcz\u00fcnden annesiyle ilgilenememi\u015fti. Bu eski semte ayda, iki ayda bir, elinde, kuca\u011f\u0131nda paketlerle gelir, cumbal\u0131 balkonda ya da \u00e7ardak g\u00fcllerinin kaplad\u0131\u011f\u0131 bah\u00e7e k\u00f6\u015fesinde annesiyle birka\u00e7 bardak \u00e7ay i\u00e7tikten sonra kendi karga\u015fal\u0131 ya\u015fant\u0131s\u0131na geri d\u00f6nerdi. Kentin en devinimli caddesinde, \u00f6zlemlerini kar\u015f\u0131layaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 sand\u0131\u011f\u0131 nesnelerle doldurdu\u011fu bir \u00e7at\u0131 kat\u0131nda ya\u015f\u0131yordu. Annesi i\u00e7in de alt katlardan birinde yer edinmi\u015fti, ama o, an\u0131larla y\u00fckl\u00fc evinden, kom\u015fular\u0131ndan ayr\u0131lmak istememi\u015fti. \u00a0Kusursuz el yaz\u0131s\u0131yla yaz\u0131p b\u0131rakt\u0131\u011f\u0131 sayfay\u0131 komodininin \u00e7ekmesinde buldu\u011funda evini, k\u0131z \u00f6\u011frencilere y\u00fcksek \u00f6\u011frenim i\u00e7in destek sa\u011flayan bir derne\u011fe ba\u011f\u0131\u015flad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6\u011frenmi\u015fti.<\/p>\n
Neden sonra ya\u015fl\u0131 adam\u0131n koluna girerek onu evine do\u011fru s\u00fcr\u00fckledi\u011finin ay\u0131rt\u0131na vard\u0131.<\/p>\n
\u201cGel hele, bir \u015feyler yemen gerek. Hem \u00fcst\u00fcn\u00fc ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 da bir toparlayal\u0131m,\u201d diyordu.<\/p>\n
\u0130\u015fte o anda, d\u00fcn gece y\u00fcreklere nas\u0131l korku sald\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, yabans\u0131 bir yarat\u0131\u011fa d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015f oldu\u011funu anlad\u0131. Mustafa amcas\u0131 bile onu evine almaktan \u00e7ekinmi\u015fti.<\/p>\n
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Dairesinin i\u00e7ine a\u00e7\u0131lan asans\u00f6r\u00fcn kap\u0131s\u0131ndan \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131\u011f\u0131nda derin bir soluk ald\u0131. Suat asl\u0131nda buralarda tan\u0131d\u0131k birileriyle kar\u015f\u0131la\u015fmaktan hep sak\u0131n\u0131rd\u0131. Evine ne zaman, kimlerle girdi\u011fi bilinsin istemezdi. Hele \u015fu berbat k\u0131l\u0131kla ortal\u0131kta dola\u015fmak, olacak \u015fey miydi? \u00a0Bu kez nedense hi\u00e7bir \u015feyi umursam\u0131yordu. O anda duydu\u011fu g\u00fcven, y\u0131rt\u0131c\u0131 bir didi\u015fmeden sonra inine d\u00f6nen bir yaban hayvan\u0131n gev\u015femesini and\u0131r\u0131yordu.<\/p>\n
Kap\u0131n\u0131n \u00f6n\u00fcnde soyundu. D\u00fcn gece de s\u0131zd\u0131\u011f\u0131 somyadan kalkarak, derisini s\u0131y\u0131r\u0131r gibi \u00fcst\u00fcndekileri \u00e7\u0131karmam\u0131\u015f m\u0131yd\u0131? Banyoya do\u011fru ko\u015ftu. Sonuna dek a\u00e7t\u0131\u011f\u0131 so\u011fuk suyun alt\u0131na girdi. Di\u015flerini f\u0131r\u00e7alarken, kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131ndaki yabanc\u0131ya bakabildi. Sa\u00e7lar\u0131nda tek t\u00fck beliren a\u011fart\u0131lara, g\u00f6\u011fs\u00fcn\u00fc gittik\u00e7e geni\u015fleyen bir bo\u015flukmu\u015f\u00e7as\u0131na kaplayan beyaz k\u0131llar da eklenmi\u015fti. Bug\u00fcn de t\u0131ra\u015f olmasa ne olurdu sanki?<\/p>\n
Odaya ge\u00e7ti. Yata\u011f\u0131, \u00e7ar\u015faflar\u0131yla derin burga\u00e7lar olu\u015fturmu\u015f, uzun s\u00fcren bir can \u00e7eki\u015fmeden geriye kalan son izleri ta\u015f\u0131yor gibiydi. Yeniden ya\u015famak istemedi\u011fi bir \u00e7aresizli\u011fin kal\u0131nt\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6rmek onu \u00fcrk\u00fctm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc. Arkas\u0131n\u0131 d\u00f6nd\u00fc, \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131. Bornozuyla salondaki kanepeye uzand\u0131. G\u00f6z kapaklar\u0131 d\u00fc\u015fmeye ba\u015flay\u0131nca, bir g\u00fcn \u00f6nce, sabah\u0131n dokuzunda kap\u0131s\u0131na dayanan o \u00e7ekici kad\u0131n, al\u0131c\u0131 ku\u015flar\u0131nkine benzeyen bak\u0131\u015flar\u0131yla bedenini yeniden didiklemeye ba\u015fl\u0131yordu. Bunca y\u0131ld\u0131r tan\u0131mad\u0131\u011f\u0131 ki\u015filer i\u00e7in konutlar \u00e7izmi\u015f, o yap\u0131lar\u0131 hi\u00e7 i\u015fe yaramayacak ara\u00e7-gere\u00e7le donatm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Tasarlad\u0131\u011f\u0131 al\u0131\u015fveri\u015f merkezleri ger\u00e7e\u011fe d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc; neredeyse yeni bir g\u00f6k kubbe olu\u015fturan \u00e7at\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131n alt\u0131nda ad\u0131m at\u0131lacak yer b\u0131rakmayan insan kalabal\u0131\u011f\u0131, donuk bak\u0131\u015flarla bir a\u015fa\u011f\u0131, bir yukar\u0131 dola\u015f\u0131yordu. Herkes i\u00e7in mek\u00e2nlar tasarlayan Suat, \u015fimdi kendisi yersiz-yurtsuz bir adamd\u0131.<\/p>\n
\u0130lk kez bulundu\u011fu bir yerdeymi\u015f gibi merakla \u00e7evresine bakmaya ba\u015flad\u0131. Kitapl\u0131\u011f\u0131ndaki da\u011f\u0131n\u0131kl\u0131k tedirgin ediciydi. Ses kay\u0131tlar\u0131, sineman\u0131n sessiz d\u00f6neminden ba\u015flayan birikimi, dolab\u0131n yar\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131k kapa\u011f\u0131ndan d\u0131\u015far\u0131ya u\u011fram\u0131\u015f bir y\u0131\u011f\u0131nt\u0131yd\u0131. K\u0131r\u0131nt\u0131larla, art\u0131klarla dolu tabaklar, kahve fincanlar\u0131 masan\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcnde kalm\u0131\u015ft\u0131.<\/p>\n
O kad\u0131n\u0131 hi\u00e7 ummad\u0131\u011f\u0131 bir anda kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda bulmas\u0131 bir k\u0131r\u0131lma noktas\u0131yd\u0131. Uzun, kumral sa\u00e7lar\u0131, g\u00fcne\u015fin esmerle\u015ftirdi\u011fi incecik yap\u0131s\u0131yla g\u00fczel bir kad\u0131nd\u0131. K\u00fc\u00e7\u00fcc\u00fck burnunun kanatlar\u0131, anlatt\u0131\u011f\u0131 neyse, i\u00e7erdi\u011fi \u00f6zleme ya da \u00f6fkeye uyarak belli aral\u0131klarla a\u00e7\u0131l\u0131p kapan\u0131rd\u0131. Davran\u0131\u015flar\u0131, korunmas\u0131 gereken, sevilmekten ba\u015fka bir \u015fey istemeyen bir di\u015fi kedinin m\u0131r\u0131lt\u0131l\u0131 imgesini \u00e7a\u011fr\u0131\u015ft\u0131r\u0131rd\u0131. Ama ye\u015fil g\u00f6zlerinde k\u0131v\u0131lc\u0131mlanan bak\u0131\u015flar\u0131, kad\u0131n ya da erkek kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda kim olursa olsun, herkesi \u00fcrpertiyordu. \u00a0Bu bak\u0131\u015flar \u00f6znellikleri delik de\u015fik eden \u00f6zg\u00fcr bir \u00e7\u0131\u011fl\u0131\u011f\u0131n yank\u0131s\u0131yd\u0131. Suat, ondan uzak durmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015f, i\u015f yerine s\u0131kl\u0131kla gelmeye ba\u015flay\u0131nca da t\u00fcrl\u00fc \u00f6z\u00fcrlerle g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fmelerini be\u015f-on dakikayla s\u0131n\u0131rlamay\u0131 ba\u015farm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Kap\u0131y\u0131 a\u00e7t\u0131\u011f\u0131nda,<\/p>\n
\u201cG\u00fcnayd\u0131n. Birlikte birer kahve i\u00e7eriz de\u011fil mi?\u201d, diyerek teklifsizce i\u00e7eri dalm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. O \u2018G\u00fcnayd\u0131n\u2019 sesleni\u015finin, \u2018d\u0131\u0131\u0131n\u2019 b\u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fc uzayarak evin her k\u00f6\u015fesinde \u00e7\u0131nlam\u0131\u015ft\u0131.<\/p>\n
Masan\u0131n ba\u015f\u0131nda otururlarken, g\u00fcndelik ya\u015fant\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 inan\u0131lmas\u0131 g\u00fc\u00e7 tans\u0131klarm\u0131\u015f gibi \u00f6ylesine bir i\u015fveyle anlat\u0131yordu ki, Suat, s\u0131\u011f\u0131nak sayd\u0131\u011f\u0131 evinin adresini bu kad\u0131n\u0131n nas\u0131l olup da buldu\u011funu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmeyi b\u0131rakm\u0131\u015ft\u0131 art\u0131k. Konu\u015furken, ince, uzun parmakl\u0131 ellerini denetleyemedi\u011fi bir g\u00fc\u00e7le Suat\u2019\u0131n omzunda, kolunda dola\u015ft\u0131r\u0131yordu. Onun i\u00e7in dokunmak, susuzlu\u011fu gidermek gibi do\u011fal bir gereksinmeydi sanki. Bu y\u00fczden kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131ndaki de bu durumu garipsemiyor; onun duyarl\u0131, kendi pembelikleriyle \u0131\u015f\u0131ldayan parmaklar\u0131n\u0131 avu\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131n aras\u0131nda tutsak alarak, bu co\u015fkuya tutkulu \u00f6yk\u00fclerle kat\u0131lmak istiyordu.<\/p>\n
Ne konu\u015fmu\u015flard\u0131, nas\u0131l bir anda kendilerini yatakta bulmu\u015flard\u0131? An\u0131msayam\u0131yordu. Bir ara, \u00fcst\u00fcndeki kad\u0131n, durmaks\u0131z\u0131n yineleyerek,<\/p>\n
\u201c\u0130\u00e7ime, daha derinliklerime girmelisin!\u201d diye, inlemeye ba\u015flam\u0131\u015ft\u0131.<\/p>\n
Elleri, yine ikide bir yer de\u011fi\u015ftiriyor, kimi zaman onu omuzlar\u0131ndan kavrayarak gel-gitlerinden tayfunlar\u0131 \u00e7o\u011falt\u0131yor; hemen ard\u0131ndan da, kollar\u0131n\u0131 arkaya uzat\u0131p, ayak bileklerine k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck pen\u00e7elerini ge\u00e7irirken, bir imbat ok\u015fay\u0131\u015f\u0131nda duruluveriyordu. Ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 arkaya att\u0131\u011f\u0131 anda, kirpiklerinin aras\u0131ndan f\u0131\u015fk\u0131ran sar\u0131-ye\u015fil yal\u0131mlar yak\u0131p kavuruyor; burun kanatlar\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131ld\u0131k\u00e7a tutkunun esintisi bu alevi daha da k\u0131\u015fk\u0131rt\u0131yordu.<\/p>\n
Suat\u2019\u0131n organ\u0131, kendisinden gittik\u00e7e uzakla\u015fan, \u00fcrkek bir yarat\u0131\u011fa d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc. Gittik\u00e7e artan s\u0131cakl\u0131\u011f\u0131n, o d\u0131\u015far\u0131ya ta\u015fan kaygan s\u0131v\u0131da bo\u011fulma duygusunun yaratt\u0131\u011f\u0131 y\u0131lg\u0131nl\u0131k i\u00e7inde sertli\u011fini yitirmeye ba\u015flad\u0131\u011f\u0131 anda, derinlerden kopan bir inilti onu yeniden i\u00e7erilere al\u0131yordu. Bedeniyle ba\u011f\u0131n\u0131 koparm\u0131\u015f bu canl\u0131 uzant\u0131 kad\u0131n\u0131n i\u00e7indeydi, Suat ise, bir \u015feylerin ne i\u00e7ine girebilecek, ne de d\u0131\u015f\u0131nda kalabilecek g\u00fcc\u00fc kendinde buluyordu. G\u00f6\u011fs\u00fcne uzun s\u00fcredir yerle\u015fmi\u015f o habis yumru kopmu\u015f; kas\u0131klar\u0131nda \u00e7\u00f6reklenmi\u015f, bo\u015falam\u0131yordu. G\u00f6zlerini kapay\u0131nca, ge\u00e7mi\u015fte birlikte oldu\u011fu kad\u0131nlardan birka\u00e7\u0131 s\u0131rayla kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131na \u00e7\u0131k\u0131yor, yatak, oda, kent, iklim ve zaman \u00e7\u0131lg\u0131nca bir de\u011fi\u015fimin d\u00f6ng\u00fcs\u00fcnde onu anlams\u0131zl\u0131\u011fa s\u00fcr\u00fckl\u00fcyordu. \u00dcst\u00fcnde k\u0131vranan bu kad\u0131n, ya\u015fad\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131n dam\u0131t\u0131lm\u0131\u015f \u00f6zetiydi. Yaz g\u00fcne\u015finin kucaklay\u0131c\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan, k\u0131\u015f\u0131n soluk kesen ayaz\u0131na f\u0131rlat\u0131l\u0131yor; ama ba\u015f\u0131na ne gelirse gelsin g\u00fcnler hep birbirine benziyordu. Birden, \u00fc\u00e7-d\u00f6rt g\u00fcnl\u00fck sakal\u0131n kaplad\u0131\u011f\u0131 y\u00fcz\u00fcne bir mutluluk yay\u0131lm\u0131\u015f, dudaklar\u0131n\u0131 aras\u0131ndan bo\u015fand\u0131\u011f\u0131 kar\u0131s\u0131n\u0131n ad\u0131n\u0131 f\u0131s\u0131ldam\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Bu ad, bir anda beynine saplanm\u0131\u015f, dudaklar\u0131 da buna uymu\u015ftu. Yata\u011f\u0131ndaki kad\u0131n\u0131n duydu\u011funu sanm\u0131yordu. \u00a0\u0130\u015fte o anda, kad\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcnden f\u0131rlayarak kalkm\u0131\u015f,<\/p>\n
\u201cNe bi\u00e7im adams\u0131n sen?\u201d, diye sormu\u015ftu, \u201cBenimle sevi\u015firken kafan ba\u015fka yerde. \u00a0Sap\u0131kl\u0131\u011f\u0131n b\u00f6ylesini de g\u00f6rmemi\u015ftim!\u201d<\/p>\n
Kad\u0131n eline ge\u00e7eni savurup, \u00e7arparak g\u00fcr\u00fclt\u00fcyle \u00e7\u0131k\u0131p gittikten sonra bacaklar\u0131n\u0131 karn\u0131na \u00e7ekmi\u015f, uzun s\u00fcre k\u0131m\u0131lt\u0131s\u0131z; \u00e7\u0131plak bir \u00f6l\u00fc gibi yatakta kalm\u0131\u015ft\u0131.<\/p>\n
Kanepede uyand\u0131\u011f\u0131nda, g\u00fcne\u015f g\u00f6lgeleri uzatacak kadar iyice al\u00e7alm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. \u00c7ok ac\u0131km\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Yerinden kalkt\u0131. Islak bornozunun i\u00e7inde t\u00fcm eklemleri sertle\u015fmi\u015f, her ad\u0131m\u0131nda bir yan\u0131 ses veriyordu. Neredeyse s\u00fcr\u00fcnerek buzdolab\u0131na y\u00f6neldi.<\/p>\n
30\/08\/2009<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
G\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc a\u00e7t\u0131\u011f\u0131nda nerede oldu\u011funu bilememi\u015fti. Boynu, sa\u00e7lar\u0131 ter i\u00e7indeydi. Yast\u0131\u011fa ge\u00e7en \u0131slakl\u0131k sanki buz kesmi\u015f, ensesine b\u0131\u00e7ak gibi saplanm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131ndaki kirli beyaz duvarda g\u00f6zlerini gezdirdi. Koca bir \u00e7iviye as\u0131l\u0131 bir y\u0131l \u00f6ncesini g\u00f6steren takvimin yapraklar\u0131 May\u0131s\u2019a kadar hoyrat\u00e7a kopar\u0131lm\u0131\u015f, geriye kalan g\u00fcnler ko\u00e7an\u0131nda kalakalm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Tavandan sarkan \u00e7\u0131plak ampulden yay\u0131lan c\u0131l\u0131z \u0131\u015f\u0131k, kap\u0131n\u0131n yan\u0131ndaki perdesiz pencereden s\u0131zan g\u00fcn\u00fcn ilk ayd\u0131nl\u0131\u011f\u0131yla birle\u015fince, bu k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck odan\u0131n yoksul so\u011fuklu\u011fu kemiklerine dek i\u015fliyordu. Giysileri, ba\u015fucundaki sandalyeye i\u00e7i bo\u015falt\u0131lm\u0131\u015f bir beden gibi at\u0131l\u0131vermi\u015fti. Battaniyeyi \u00fcst\u00fcnden att\u0131. Biraz do\u011frulmaya yeltendi. Somyan\u0131n g\u0131c\u0131rt\u0131s\u0131 iniltisine kar\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Belinden ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131n arkas\u0131na y\u00fckselen a\u011fr\u0131, s\u0131rt\u0131n\u0131 boydan boya y\u0131rtan bir pen\u00e7e gibiydi. \u00dcst\u00fcnde … <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1039,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[11],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1037","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-oykuleri"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ziyagurel.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1037","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ziyagurel.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ziyagurel.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ziyagurel.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ziyagurel.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1037"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/ziyagurel.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1037\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1189,"href":"https:\/\/ziyagurel.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1037\/revisions\/1189"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ziyagurel.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1039"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ziyagurel.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1037"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ziyagurel.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1037"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ziyagurel.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1037"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}