{"id":1043,"date":"2023-01-18T03:04:39","date_gmt":"2023-01-18T03:04:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ziyagurel.com\/?p=1043"},"modified":"2023-02-08T14:51:43","modified_gmt":"2023-02-08T14:51:43","slug":"bir-dedenin-pera-gezintisi","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ziyagurel.com\/index.php\/2023\/01\/18\/bir-dedenin-pera-gezintisi\/","title":{"rendered":"Bir Dedenin Pera Gezintisi"},"content":{"rendered":"

Semiha Berksoy\u2019la Kar\u015f\u0131la\u015fma<\/strong><\/h4>\n

\u00a0<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0<\/strong>\u201cZaman\u201d denilen \u015fey \u00f6ylesine g\u00f6rece ki, neyin \u00f6l\u00e7\u00fct\u00fc oldu\u011fu belli de\u011fil. San\u0131r\u0131m ancak do\u011fum ve \u00f6l\u00fcm olgular\u0131yla y\u00fczle\u015ftik\u00e7e, bir \u00f6mr\u00fcn enlemiyle boylam\u0131n\u0131 belirleyen nirengi noktalar\u0131na ula\u015f\u0131lm\u0131\u015f oluyor.<\/p>\n

Ge\u00e7enlerde Beyo\u011flu\u2019nu ad\u0131mlarken, bir hafta \u00f6nce do\u011fan torunumu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyordum. Ne istedi\u011fini bilen k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fcc\u00fck bir o\u011flan: Karn\u0131 doyunca a\u011flamay\u0131 kesiyor. Emdi\u011fi s\u00fct gaz yaparsa, \u00e7\u0131\u011fl\u0131k \u00e7\u0131\u011fl\u0131\u011fa yeniden yard\u0131m istiyor. Aksel bebenin hallerini izlerken, k\u0131z\u0131m Eren\u2019e, \u201cYery\u00fcz\u00fcne ayak bast\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z ilk g\u00fcnlerimizi iyi ki an\u0131msam\u0131yoruz\u201d, deyivermi\u015fim.<\/p>\n

\u00d6yle ya, yabanc\u0131 bir d\u00fcnyaya gelmi\u015fsin. Ana rahminin karanl\u0131k ama korunakl\u0131 ortam\u0131ndan \u00e7\u0131k\u0131p, kendini bir anda ya\u015fam\u0131n her t\u00fcrl\u00fc sert esintisinin ortas\u0131nda, \u00e7aresizlik i\u00e7inde buluyorsun. Ge\u00e7irmekte oldu\u011fun de\u011fi\u015fimin; birden \u00e7o\u011falan gereksinmelerinin yaratt\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u015fa\u015fk\u0131nl\u0131\u011fa katlanmak kolay i\u015f mi?<\/p>\n

Asl\u0131nda bellek, oldum olas\u0131 mutluluklar\u0131, haz anlar\u0131n\u0131 biriktirip, istifler. Dahas\u0131, ya\u015f\u0131m\u0131z ilerledik\u00e7e ba\u015far\u0131lar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131, g\u00fczelliklerle dolu an\u0131lar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 allay\u0131p pullay\u0131p, iyice abartarak anlatmaktan kendimizi alamaz oluruz. \u00c7o\u011fu zaman bizleri g\u00fcl\u00fcn\u00e7 duruma d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcren, ba\u015f edemedi\u011fimiz bu meddahl\u0131k tutkumuz de\u011fil midir? Bazen de \u00f6\u011f\u00fctlerle, bir\u00e7ok k\u0131ssadan hisseyle donatt\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z ser\u00fcvenimiz, dil doland\u0131k\u00e7a daha bir usand\u0131r\u0131c\u0131 olur. Belki de, orta ya\u015f\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcndekilere, bu y\u00fczden, \u2018ya\u015f\u0131n\u0131-ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 alm\u0131\u015f\u2019<\/em> denerek birer u\u011furlama sel\u00e2m\u0131 g\u00f6ndermekte acele edilir.<\/p>\n

Dede olmak (hani, \u2018Toruna-torbaya kar\u0131\u015fmak\u2019, denir ya\u2026) bende \u00e7ok \u00e7e\u015fitli \u00e7a\u011fr\u0131\u015f\u0131mlar uyand\u0131rmakla kalmad\u0131, ya\u015fama inanc\u0131m\u0131 da peki\u015ftirdi. Torunum bana, ge\u00e7mi\u015ften gelece\u011fe uzanan u\u00e7suz bucaks\u0131z g\u00f6r\u00fcnt\u00fcy\u00fc yans\u0131tan bir b\u00fcy\u00fcl\u00fc ayna sundu sanki:<\/p>\n

Ziya Dedem, Gali\u00e7ya\u2019dan; Ankara\u2019ya dek sava\u015ftan sava\u015fa ko\u015fmu\u015f, bir Anadolulu. \u0130lk b\u00fcy\u00fck sava\u015fta ve ba\u011f\u0131ms\u0131zl\u0131k sava\u015f\u0131 boyunca zeytin a\u011fa\u00e7lar\u0131yla bezeli kasabas\u0131na her u\u011frad\u0131\u011f\u0131nda bir \u00e7ocu\u011fu olmu\u015f; bir k\u0131z, d\u00f6rt o\u011ful… Kat\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131 sava\u015flardan, kanl\u0131 an\u0131lardan hi\u00e7 s\u00f6z etmezdi. Ba\u011f\u0131ms\u0131zl\u0131k madalyas\u0131n\u0131 bayramlarda bile yakas\u0131na ili\u015ftirdi\u011fini g\u00f6rmedim. Bu madalyay\u0131, k\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 kadife kesesi i\u00e7inde, ceketinin \u00fcst cebinde; y\u00fcre\u011finin tam \u00fcst\u00fcnde ta\u015f\u0131rd\u0131.<\/p>\n

Foto\u011fraflar\u0131 hi\u00e7 sevmem. Bu donuk g\u00f6rsellik s\u00fcrekli, \u201dBir zamanlar b\u00f6yleydi, \u015fimdi yok\u201d diye f\u0131s\u0131ldar, yokluktan s\u00f6z eder bana\u2026 Ama san\u0131r\u0131m b\u00fcy\u00fck torun oldu\u011fum i\u00e7in alb\u00fcmler hep bana emanet edilmi\u015ftir. Artta kalan bu g\u00f6r\u00fcnt\u00fcler i\u00e7inde bir foto\u011fraf var ki, benim i\u00e7in \u00e7ok de\u011ferlidir. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc bir d\u00f6nemin \u00f6zeti gibidir; yeni bir \u00e7a\u011f\u0131n ba\u015flang\u0131c\u0131n\u0131 imler: Osmanl\u0131\u2019n\u0131n Balkan sava\u015f\u0131 (1913) yenilgisinden sonra geri \u00e7ekilen orduyla birlikte Onba\u015f\u0131 Ziya da P\u00e2y-i Taht\u2019a ula\u015f\u0131r.\u00a0 \u0130stanbul\u2019da kay\u0131nbiraderi Sad\u0131k \u00e7avu\u015fla bulu\u015furlar. Sad\u0131k \u00e7avu\u015f, o s\u0131rada Saray muhaf\u0131z alay\u0131nda g\u00f6revli. Pera\u2019da bir \u0130talyan foto\u011fraf\u00e7\u0131n\u0131n \u015fip-\u015fak\u2019\u0131na poz vermi\u015fler. Onba\u015f\u0131 Ziya\u2019n\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fc-ba\u015f\u0131 d\u00f6k\u00fcl\u00fcyor; yenilginin bitkinli\u011fi \u00fcst\u00fcnden ak\u0131yor. Sad\u0131k ise, p\u0131rp\u0131r\u0131yla, g\u00fcm\u00fc\u015f ku\u015faml\u0131 k\u0131l\u0131c\u0131yla pek heybetli\u2026<\/p>\n

Be\u015f-alt\u0131 y\u0131l \u00f6nce, dedemin Amerika\u2019da annesinin yan\u0131nda ya\u015fayan \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcnc\u00fc ku\u015fak torunu, e-postayla bana ula\u015fm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. \u00d6\u011fretmenleri, \u201cAtalar\u0131m\u0131z\u201d konulu bir \u00f6dev vermi\u015f, benden bilgi ve belge istiyordu. Ben de Levanten foto\u011fraf\u00e7\u0131n\u0131n sepya tonlarla g\u00f6lgeledi\u011fi bu foto\u011fraf\u0131, ayr\u0131nt\u0131l\u0131 tarihsel \u00f6yk\u00fcy\u00fc de ekleyerek g\u00f6nderdim. Bu iki sayfada, k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck ye\u011fenimin b\u00fcy\u00fck dedesi Ziya\u2019y\u0131 anlat\u0131rken, dedesi veteriner Yarbay Faz\u0131l\u2019dan, babam Dr. \u015eeref G\u00fcrel\u2019den de s\u00f6z ederek, \u00f6yk\u00fcy\u00fc Cumhuriyetin ilk y\u0131llar\u0131na kadar yak\u0131na \u00e7ekmi\u015ftim. Ye\u011fenimin sundu\u011fu \u00f6dev, b\u00fcy\u00fck yank\u0131 uyand\u0131rm\u0131\u015f; b\u00fct\u00fcn \u00f6\u011frenciler, bilgisayarda, kitapl\u0131klarda, ilk b\u00fcy\u00fck sava\u015f, Osmanl\u0131 \u0130mparatorlu\u011fu, Atat\u00fcrk ve T\u00fcrkiye Cumhuriyeti konular\u0131nda ara\u015ft\u0131rmaya giri\u015fmi\u015fler.<\/p>\n

Bunlar\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrken iki kitapevine u\u011fram\u0131\u015f, Markiz Pastanesinin pizzac\u0131ya d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcr\u00fclmesini g\u00f6rmemek i\u00e7in tramvay\u0131n \u00f6n\u00fcnden ko\u015farak kar\u015f\u0131ya ge\u00e7mi\u015ftim. Asmal\u0131mescit\u2019e a\u00e7\u0131lan sokaklar\u0131n ortas\u0131na dizilen masalardan yol bulup da Tepeba\u015f\u0131\u2019ndaki Pera M\u00fczesine ge\u00e7mek i\u00e7in epeyce u\u011fra\u015fm\u0131\u015f, bunca yeme-i\u00e7me \u00e7\u0131lg\u0131nl\u0131\u011f\u0131na bir anlam verememi\u015ftim. Yine de amcas\u0131 Baba Refik\u2019in lokantas\u0131ndaki \u00e7\u00f6mezli\u011finden tan\u0131d\u0131\u011f\u0131m Yakup\u2019un yerinde, ahtapot salatas\u0131yla bir-iki tek rak\u0131ya zaman kalacak m\u0131, diye akl\u0131mdan ge\u00e7irmeden edemedim. O anda telefonum \u00e7ald\u0131. Arayan ressam arkada\u015f\u0131m Muammer Durmu\u015f\u2019tu. T\u00fcnel Sanat Galerisinde a\u00e7t\u0131\u011f\u0131 sergiyi, oras\u0131 haftan\u0131n ilk g\u00fcn\u00fc kapal\u0131 oldu\u011fu i\u00e7in g\u00f6rememi\u015ftim. Dedeli\u011fimden haberi yoktu Muammer\u2019in. Ona, \u201cBeyo\u011flu\u2019nday\u0131m. \u2018Ziya Dede Yat\u0131r\u0131\u2019 i\u00e7in bir yer ar\u0131yorum. Kim isterse gelsin; bez, kurdele ba\u011flay\u0131p dilekte bulunsun art\u0131k\u201d, diye tak\u0131ld\u0131m. Ne dese be\u011fenirsiniz;<\/p>\n

\u201cAh, Ziya orada bana da yer ay\u0131r. Beni de yat\u0131r oraya. \u00d6yle yorgunum ki…\u201d \u00c7evremdekiler niye birden, bu denli yorgun d\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcler anlayam\u0131yorum. \u201cPoz\u201dlar\u0131n da \u00e7e\u015fitleri t\u00fcredi \u015fimdilerde. Halimizden anlamayan biri bu b\u0131kk\u0131nl\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 g\u00f6rse, hemen tan\u0131y\u0131 koyar: \u201cAndropoz\u201d.<\/p>\n

Sonunda Galatasaray\u2019da Ara Kahvehanesinde bir \u00e7ay i\u00e7mek i\u00e7in mola verdim. Ald\u0131\u011f\u0131m kitaplar\u0131 ta\u015f\u0131d\u0131\u011f\u0131m naylon torba elimde derin izler b\u0131rakm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. G\u00fcn \u0131\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131 yerini yava\u015f\u00e7a, sokak lambalar\u0131n\u0131n, vitrin neonlar\u0131n\u0131n h\u00fcz\u00fcn veren ayd\u0131nlatmas\u0131na b\u0131rakmaktayd\u0131. On dakika sonra k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck k\u0131z\u0131m Deniz\u2019le bulu\u015facak, K. Ta\u015fkent sanat galerisindeki Semiha Berksoy resimleri sergisini, ard\u0131ndan da \u0130lber Ortayl\u0131\u2019n\u0131n s\u00f6yle\u015fisini birlikte izleyecektik. \u00dc\u00e7 k\u0131z babas\u0131yd\u0131m. Bir s\u00f6ylentiye g\u00f6re, \u00fc\u00e7 k\u0131z\u0131 olan babalar\u0131 \u00f6b\u00fcr yakaya g\u00f6\u00e7 ettiklerinde cennete g\u00f6nderilirlermi\u015f. \u201cAma dur bakal\u0131m!\u201d dedim kendi kendime, \u201cYery\u00fcz\u00fc bunca anlam karga\u015fas\u0131na, yoksunlu\u011fa g\u00f6m\u00fclm\u00fc\u015fken \u00e7ekip gidilmez. Yoksa g\u00f6z\u00fcn arkada kal\u0131r\u201d.<\/p>\n

Neyse ki, Deniz, yak\u0131ndaki i\u015fyerinden tam saatinde \u00e7\u0131km\u0131\u015f, hemen geldi. K\u0131z\u0131m\u0131n her zamanki g\u00fcl\u00fcmsemesi, p\u0131r\u0131lt\u0131l\u0131 bak\u0131\u015flar\u0131 bu kez \u00fcst\u00fcndeki yorgunlu\u011fu gizlemeye yetmiyordu. O do\u011fdu\u011fu g\u00fcnlerde, her zaman \u00f6zlemle and\u0131\u011f\u0131m \u015fair day\u0131m Halil Kocag\u00f6z sormu\u015ftu:<\/p>\n

\u201cAd\u0131n\u0131 ne koydunuz?\u201d\u00a0 Belgin\u2019le bir a\u011f\u0131zdan, i\u00e7imizi ferahlat\u0131rcas\u0131na, \u201cDeniz!\u2019\u201d, diye yan\u0131tlay\u0131nca, sevgili day\u0131m sesli d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrcesine konu\u015fmu\u015ftu, \u201cEren, Duru, Deniz\u2026 Hi\u00e7bir ba\u011flant\u0131 yok ki\u2026\u201d Ben hemen at\u0131larak, \u201cNas\u0131l olmaz day\u0131c\u0131\u011f\u0131m? Uzak k\u0131y\u0131lara eren, duru bir deniz\u201d, deyiverince co\u015fmu\u015ftu: \u201c\u015eiir \u00e7ok g\u00fczel gidiyor Ziya! Arkas\u0131n\u0131 getirmeniz gerek.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u015eimdi bak\u0131yorum da yery\u00fcz\u00fc k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fcld\u00fck\u00e7e uzak k\u0131y\u0131lara ili\u015fkin d\u00fc\u015fler de solmakta. Gittik\u00e7e yo\u011funla\u015fan \u015fu kirli bulan\u0131kl\u0131k i\u00e7inde, durulu\u011fun erdemini, erincini an\u0131msayabiliyor muyuz, bilemem\u2026<\/p>\n

Semiha Berksoy\u2019un resimleriyle kar\u015f\u0131la\u015fmak, onun ard\u0131nda b\u0131rakt\u0131\u011f\u0131 ayak izlerini izlemek gibiydi. Duyumsamalar\u0131yla, kad\u0131nca sezgileriyle kurdu\u011fu \u00f6znel evreninin kap\u0131lar\u0131 ard\u0131na dek a\u00e7\u0131k b\u0131rak\u0131lm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. \u201cAnnesinin g\u00f6be\u011fine ba\u011fl\u0131 \u00e7ocuk\u201d, \u201cDo maj\u00f6r\u201d, LaTraviata\u201d, \u201cOperada devrim; \u00d6zsoy operas\u0131\u201d adl\u0131 resimlerinde, a\u015fkla, sesle, \u00e7izgi ve renkle, insanl\u0131\u011fa duydu\u011fu g\u00fcvenle donatt\u0131\u011f\u0131 ya\u015fam\u0131na tarih d\u00fc\u015ferken, bir \u00e7a\u011f\u0131n \u00f6yk\u00fcs\u00fcn\u00fc de anlat\u0131yordu. \u00dcst kattaki alanda, \u201cBir oda; b\u00fct\u00fcn d\u00fcnyam\u201d, dedi\u011fi; son y\u0131llar\u0131nda resimler yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131, kendisine o g\u00fcnk\u00fc ruh durumuna g\u00f6re giysiler dikti\u011fi, eski ses kay\u0131tlar\u0131n\u0131 dinledi\u011fi, uyudu\u011fu yatak odas\u0131 t\u00fcm nesneleriyle g\u00f6zler \u00f6n\u00fcndeydi. Bi\u00e7imledi\u011fi her \u015feyden bir yans\u0131rken, \u00f6znelli\u011fin c\u0131v\u0131kl\u0131\u011f\u0131na d\u00fc\u015fmemesinin nedeni, 1910\u2019da ba\u015flayan ser\u00fcveninin her ad\u0131m\u0131nda, d\u00f6neminin olgular\u0131n\u0131, olaylar\u0131n\u0131, umutla, co\u015fkuyla imleme yetene\u011fi olsa gerek. S\u00f6yle\u015fi s\u0131ras\u0131nda \u0130lber Ortayl\u0131\u2019ya, \u201cBerksoy\u2019un d\u0131\u015favurumuyla, bug\u00fcn \u2018\u00e7a\u011fda\u015f sanat\u2019 denilen tak\u0131l\u0131\u015flar\u0131n bireyci m\u0131r\u0131lt\u0131lar\u0131 aras\u0131ndaki ayr\u0131m nedir?\u00a0 Bu ba\u015fkal\u0131k, \u00f6znelli\u011fi s\u0131radanl\u0131\u011f\u0131yla, dahas\u0131 t\u00fcm ayr\u0131nt\u0131lar\u0131yla anlat\u0131ma d\u00f6kmekle ya\u015fan\u0131lan d\u00f6neme tan\u0131kl\u0131k yap\u0131lamayaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 belirtmiyor mu?\u201c diye sordum. O, tatl\u0131 anlat\u0131m\u0131yla, yeniden an\u0131lar\u0131na ba\u015fvurdu: \u201c\u00d6yledir\u2026 Semiha Berksoy, \u2018Hep a\u015fkla ya\u015fad\u0131m\u2019 demiyor mu zaten? Bunun anlam\u0131, hayat\u0131 ilgili, co\u015fkulu ama ele\u015ftirel bir g\u00f6zle izlemektir. Bir g\u00fcn sohbet s\u0131ras\u0131nda bana Paris\u2019te bir Frans\u0131z gazeteci kendisine, \u2018N\u00e2z\u0131m Hikmet\u2019in \u00e2\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131 oldu\u011funuz s\u00f6yleniyor, bu do\u011fru mu?\u2019, diye sorunca, \u2018Elbette M\u00f6sy\u00f6! B\u00f6yle bir adama \u00e2\u015f\u0131k olmamak m\u00fcmk\u00fcn m\u00fc?\u2019 diye yan\u0131t verdi\u011fini anlatm\u0131\u015ft\u0131.\u201d<\/p>\n

Sona erdi\u011fini sand\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z s\u00f6yle\u015fi, i\u00e7ten kat\u0131l\u0131mlarla s\u00fcr\u00fcp gidiyordu. Sonunda Ortayl\u0131 \u015fu \u00f6neride bulundu, \u201cYa\u015fad\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131za ili\u015fkin belgeleri dosyalamak do\u011fru de\u011fil. Hele uzun bir \u00f6m\u00fcr s\u00fcrm\u00fc\u015fseniz, o kadar a\u011f\u0131r klas\u00f6rler falan\u2026 Kim kald\u0131racak onca y\u00fck\u00fc? En iyisi mi, \u00e7uvallara doldurun t\u00fcm belgeyi, sizde iz b\u0131rakan nesneleri. Biraz buru\u015furlar, k\u0131r\u0131l\u0131rlar ama, tozdan da korunurlar. Sonra vakti gelince, ya da bir \u015fey hat\u0131rlad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131zda torbalar\u0131n a\u011fz\u0131n\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131p, boca edersiniz yata\u011f\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcne… Semiha Han\u0131m \u00f6yle yapard\u0131. Arad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 da her seferinde \u015f\u0131p diye bulurdu.\u201d<\/p>\n

Sevgili \u0130lber Hoca, emeklili\u011fine bir-iki y\u0131l kalan Semiha Berksoy\u2019un, memurla\u015fan Ankara Operas\u0131 y\u00f6netiminden neler \u00e7ekti\u011fini anlat\u0131rken;<\/p>\n

\u201cAsl\u0131nda Cumhuriyet d\u00f6neminde \u0130stanbul yerine, Ankara\u2019da konservatuar a\u00e7\u0131lmas\u0131, ilk opera ve balenin de yine yeni ba\u015fkentte kurulmas\u0131 birer zorlamayd\u0131\u201d, diye a\u00e7\u0131klad\u0131\u011f\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncelerine kat\u0131lamad\u0131m. Sonradan \u0130stanbul\u2019da olu\u015fan sanat kurumlar\u0131nda, Ankara Konservatuar\u0131ndan yeti\u015fen sanat\u00e7\u0131lar g\u00f6rev almad\u0131 m\u0131? Cumhuriyetin hemen ilk y\u0131llar\u0131nda Cumhurba\u015fkanl\u0131\u011f\u0131 Senfoni Orkestras\u0131, yabanc\u0131 \u00fclkelerde y\u00fcz ak\u0131 dinletiler vermeye ba\u015flamad\u0131 m\u0131? Eh, ne demeli: P\u00e2y-i Taht\u2019\u0131n cezbesi ba\u015fkad\u0131r. Asl\u0131nda bendeniz de \u0130stanbul\u2019a \u2018meftunumdur\u2019\u2026<\/p>\n

Deniz\u2019le Taksim\u2019e kadar bile y\u00fcr\u00fcyemedim. Hava serinlemi\u015fti. K\u0131z\u0131m, \u00fc\u015f\u00fcd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fc, yorgun oldu\u011funu s\u00f6yleyince ayr\u0131ld\u0131k. Onu ne \u00e7ok \u00f6zlemi\u015fim.<\/p>\n

Benim yolum ayr\u0131yd\u0131. Yakup\u2019un yerinde bir saat tak\u0131l\u0131p, T\u00fcnel\u2019den Karak\u00f6y\u2019e, oradan da Kad\u0131k\u00f6y\u2019e ge\u00e7ecektim. Elimdeki kitaplar, sanki gittik\u00e7e daha da a\u011f\u0131rla\u015f\u0131yordu.<\/p>\n

Birden bu denli yak\u0131nma dolu, k\u00f6t\u00fcmser d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncelerden kurtulma iste\u011fi duydum. Dimdik y\u00fcr\u00fcme\u011fe ba\u015flad\u0131m. Aksel bebenin iki s\u0131zlanma aras\u0131na s\u0131k\u0131\u015ft\u0131rd\u0131\u011f\u0131 g\u00fcl\u00fcc\u00fcklere benzer bir g\u00fcl\u00fcmseme yerle\u015fmi\u015fti dudaklar\u0131ma.<\/p>\n

Zaman\u0131n \u00f6l\u00e7\u00fct\u00fc, s\u00fcre giden bu de\u011fi\u015fim de\u011fil miydi? Bir yazg\u0131yd\u0131 bu. De\u011fi\u015fimin, ba\u015fkala\u015f\u0131m\u0131n h\u0131z\u0131 artm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Bu s\u00fcr\u00fckleni\u015f i\u00e7inde anlam\u0131, iyiyi yakalamak i\u00e7in herkesin kendine g\u00f6re bir \u00e7abas\u0131 s\u00fcrd\u00fck\u00e7e, dipsiz bir bo\u015flu\u011fa yuvarlanma olas\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131 yoktu ki\u2026 Semiha Berksoy\u2019un an\u0131s\u0131na ilk yudumumu al\u0131rken, g\u00f6zlerim Yakup\u2019u arad\u0131, nerede oldu\u011funu sordum. Ye\u011feni ko\u015ftu geldi. Art\u0131k buray\u0131, Yakup amcas\u0131n\u0131n o\u011fluyla birlikte y\u00f6nettiklerini, Yakup amcas\u0131 i\u00e7kiyi, sigaray\u0131 fazla ka\u00e7\u0131rd\u0131\u011f\u0131 i\u00e7in, yengesinin onun buraya gelmesine haftada bir izin verdi\u011fini anlatt\u0131. \u0130\u015fte yasaklamayla gelen bir de\u011fi\u015fiklik daha\u2026 Ama bunda bile, bir kad\u0131n\u0131n ya\u015fam\u0131 sevgiyle kucaklay\u0131\u015f\u0131 vard\u0131. \u201cKad\u0131nlar sevmeyi biliyorlar\u201d, diye ge\u00e7irdim i\u00e7imden.<\/p>\n

\u015eu m\u0131r\u0131n-k\u0131r\u0131n hallerimden bir s\u0131yr\u0131labilsem\u2026<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Ku\u015fadas\u0131-27\/Mart\/2010<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Semiha Berksoy\u2019la Kar\u015f\u0131la\u015fma \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0\u201cZaman\u201d denilen \u015fey \u00f6ylesine g\u00f6rece ki, neyin \u00f6l\u00e7\u00fct\u00fc oldu\u011fu belli de\u011fil. San\u0131r\u0131m ancak do\u011fum ve \u00f6l\u00fcm olgular\u0131yla y\u00fczle\u015ftik\u00e7e, bir \u00f6mr\u00fcn enlemiyle boylam\u0131n\u0131 belirleyen nirengi noktalar\u0131na ula\u015f\u0131lm\u0131\u015f oluyor. Ge\u00e7enlerde Beyo\u011flu\u2019nu ad\u0131mlarken, bir hafta \u00f6nce do\u011fan torunumu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyordum. Ne istedi\u011fini bilen k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fcc\u00fck bir o\u011flan: Karn\u0131 doyunca a\u011flamay\u0131 kesiyor. Emdi\u011fi s\u00fct gaz yaparsa, \u00e7\u0131\u011fl\u0131k \u00e7\u0131\u011fl\u0131\u011fa yeniden yard\u0131m istiyor. Aksel bebenin hallerini izlerken, k\u0131z\u0131m Eren\u2019e, \u201cYery\u00fcz\u00fcne ayak bast\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z ilk g\u00fcnlerimizi iyi ki an\u0131msam\u0131yoruz\u201d, deyivermi\u015fim. \u00d6yle ya, yabanc\u0131 bir d\u00fcnyaya gelmi\u015fsin. Ana rahminin karanl\u0131k ama korunakl\u0131 ortam\u0131ndan \u00e7\u0131k\u0131p, kendini bir anda ya\u015fam\u0131n her t\u00fcrl\u00fc sert esintisinin ortas\u0131nda, \u00e7aresizlik i\u00e7inde buluyorsun. Ge\u00e7irmekte … <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1054,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[11],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1043","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-oykuleri"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ziyagurel.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1043","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ziyagurel.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ziyagurel.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ziyagurel.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ziyagurel.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1043"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/ziyagurel.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1043\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1183,"href":"https:\/\/ziyagurel.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1043\/revisions\/1183"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ziyagurel.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1054"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ziyagurel.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1043"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ziyagurel.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1043"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ziyagurel.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1043"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}