{"id":1168,"date":"2023-02-07T16:01:17","date_gmt":"2023-02-07T16:01:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ziyagurel.com\/?p=1168"},"modified":"2023-02-07T16:01:17","modified_gmt":"2023-02-07T16:01:17","slug":"bosluga-yazmak","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ziyagurel.com\/index.php\/2023\/02\/07\/bosluga-yazmak\/","title":{"rendered":"Bo\u015flu\u011fa Yazmak"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>BO\u015eLU\u011eA YAZMAK<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0<\/strong>\u00a0Uyand\u0131m. B\u00fct\u00fcn eklemlerim kilitlenmi\u015fti sanki. Evde yaln\u0131z oldu\u011fumun neden sonra ay\u0131rt\u0131na vard\u0131m. \u0130kinci kez evlendi\u011fimde kendimi \u00f6yle bir sevda \u00e7emberi i\u00e7inde g\u00f6r\u00fcyordum ki, o b\u00fcy\u00fclenmi\u015fli\u011fi anlatamam. T\u00fcm ge\u00e7mi\u015fimi silmek istiyordum. Kar\u015f\u0131la\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131m bu gen\u00e7 kad\u0131n, iri elleriyle beni yakalad\u0131\u011f\u0131 gibi yepyeni bir gelece\u011fe s\u00fcr\u00fckl\u00fcyordu. Her an bana dokunuyor, parmaklar\u0131n\u0131 omzuma, elime kenetlemeden yapam\u0131yordu. Bir duyu olarak dokunmay\u0131 bana an\u0131msatmas\u0131n\u0131, bir sevi\u015fme \u00e7a\u011fr\u0131s\u0131 olarak alg\u0131l\u0131yor, kucaklan\u0131\u015f\u0131m\u0131 k\u0131van\u00e7la \u00f6z\u00fcms\u00fcyordum.\u00a0 Onunla sonsuza dek birlikte ya\u015famay\u0131 g\u00f6n\u00fclden istiyordum. \u0130\u015fte bu ko\u015fulsuz teslimiyetim, sevdi\u011fim o kad\u0131nca kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131ks\u0131z b\u0131rak\u0131l\u0131r olmu\u015ftu.\u00a0 \u00c7\u0131lg\u0131nca, tutkulu, alabildi\u011fine sak\u0131nmas\u0131z sevgi g\u00f6sterilerimi, art\u0131k geri \u00e7eviriyordu. B\u00fct\u00fcn parasal sunumlar\u0131m\u0131, verdi\u011fim arma\u011fanlar\u0131 k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fcmsemeye ba\u015flam\u0131\u015ft\u0131. \u00dc\u00e7 y\u0131l i\u00e7inde b\u00fct\u00fcn d\u00fc\u015f sona ermi\u015fti. Direnmek istedim. A\u015fk\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n ne denli b\u00fcy\u00fck oldu\u011funu anlatmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131m. Beceremedim. O iri elli kad\u0131n, bilmem ki, pen\u00e7esini daha ba\u015fka kimlere ge\u00e7irmek i\u00e7in, benden uzakla\u015fm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. \u00c7ekip gitmi\u015fti. Ona k\u0131zg\u0131nd\u0131m. Ama geri d\u00f6nerse kollar\u0131m\u0131 sonuna kadar a\u00e7arak onu kar\u015f\u0131layaca\u011f\u0131m\u0131 biliyordum. Bu durumu al\u0131n yaz\u0131m say\u0131yordum.<\/p>\n<p>G\u00f6zlerimi, so\u011fuk odam\u0131n penceresinden i\u00e7eri dolan gri ayd\u0131nl\u0131\u011fa a\u00e7t\u0131\u011f\u0131m o erken saatte, kollar\u0131m iki yan\u0131mda kucaklayabilece\u011fim bir beden aram\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Bu evin ba\u015fka bir ev, yata\u011f\u0131n da tek ki\u015filik bir somya oldu\u011funu ay\u0131rt\u0131na varm\u0131\u015ft\u0131m, ama i\u00e7ime sindirememi\u015ftim. Yapayaln\u0131zd\u0131m. \u0130lk evlili\u011fimde mutlu oldu\u011fum anlar, i\u015fte b\u00f6yle bir ba\u015f\u0131ma kald\u0131\u011f\u0131m zamanlarda g\u00f6zlerimin \u00f6n\u00fcnden bir film \u015feridi gibi ge\u00e7iverince, orta ya\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 a\u015fm\u0131\u015f benim gibi bir adam\u0131n, ba\u015f\u0131nda kavak yelleri estirerek ortal\u0131kta dola\u015fmas\u0131n\u0131n utanc\u0131 alt\u0131nda ezilirim. Ard\u0131ndan da, yazd\u0131\u011f\u0131m her sat\u0131r, elimde olmadan kendimi yerin dibine ge\u00e7irdi\u011fim itiraflara d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015f\u00fcr..<\/p>\n<p>Ortal\u0131\u011f\u0131 kaplay\u0131p, her \u015feyi \u00e7\u00fcr\u00fcme \u00f6ncesi pis bir yumu\u015fakl\u0131\u011fa u\u011fratan \u015fu nemli Nisan sabah\u0131nda kendime gelmek olduk\u00e7a g\u00fc\u00e7 i\u015fti. Her yan\u0131m kaskat\u0131 tutuldu\u011fu i\u00e7in uzun s\u00fcre yata\u011f\u0131mdan \u00e7\u0131kamad\u0131m. Birlikte iki \u00e7ocuk yeti\u015ftirdi\u011fimiz eski e\u015fim, y\u00fcz\u00fcnden hi\u00e7 eksik olmayan g\u00fcl\u00fcmsemesiyle g\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcn \u00f6n\u00fcne geldi. K\u0131z\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 da, o\u011flumuzu da her gitti\u011fimiz yere g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcrd\u00fck. Onlar\u0131 ta k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fckl\u00fcklerinden ba\u015flayarak hi\u00e7 yan\u0131m\u0131zdan ay\u0131rmazd\u0131k. K\u0131z\u0131m i\u015fi gere\u011fi Bat\u0131 \u00fclkelerinde ya\u015f\u0131yor. O hi\u00e7 de\u011filse arada bir beni arar. Ama o\u011flum, hele o kad\u0131nla evlenmemden sonra bana bir kez olsun telefon bile etmedi. Ben arad\u0131\u011f\u0131m zaman genellikle toplant\u0131da oldu\u011funu ya da d\u0131\u015far\u0131ya \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 s\u00f6yletir. Y\u00fcre\u011fimin \u00fcst\u00fcne b\u00fcy\u00fck bir a\u011f\u0131rl\u0131\u011f\u0131n \u00e7\u00f6kmesiyle birlikte ikisini de ne denli \u00e7ok \u00f6zledi\u011fimi anlad\u0131m. Bedenimin her g\u00f6zene\u011finden bir anda ter bo\u015fand\u0131.<\/p>\n<p>Bir \u015feylerden ka\u00e7arcas\u0131na f\u0131rlad\u0131m kalkt\u0131m. Pek de s\u0131cak olmayan suyun alt\u0131na girdim. S\u0131rr\u0131 d\u00f6k\u00fclm\u00fc\u015f aynada, havluya sar\u0131nm\u0131\u015f g\u00f6r\u00fcnt\u00fcme bakt\u0131m. G\u00f6zlerimin alt\u0131ndaki torbalar d\u00fcn gece biraz \u00e7ok\u00e7a i\u00e7ti\u011fimden iyice sarkm\u0131\u015f, k\u0131r\u00e7\u0131l sakallar\u0131m y\u00fcz\u00fcme o irkiltici solgunlu\u011fu bir damga gibi yerle\u015ftirmi\u015fti. Kefenine sar\u0131nm\u0131\u015f, \u00f6ylece y\u00fcr\u00fcyen bir \u00f6l\u00fcy\u00fc and\u0131r\u0131yordum.\u00a0 Kurulan\u0131p, t\u0131ra\u015f da olunca kendime g\u00fcvenim az da olsa yerine geldi. Perdeleri, pencereyi a\u00e7t\u0131m. \u00d6n\u00fcmdeki k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bah\u00e7edeki a\u011fa\u00e7lar\u0131n yapraklar\u0131, toprak geceki ya\u011fmurla iyice \u0131slanm\u0131\u015f, mis gibi kokuyordu. O pus, a\u011f\u0131r bir bulut olup, bu tepenin \u00fcst\u00fcne \u00e7\u00f6reklenmi\u015fti. Terk edilince Ayaspa\u015fa\u2019daki evimden ayr\u0131larak, Sar\u0131yer s\u0131rtlar\u0131ndaki bu sitede kiralad\u0131\u011f\u0131m k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck daireye ta\u015f\u0131nm\u0131\u015ft\u0131m. Kent merkezinde oturmak neye yarayacakt\u0131 ki. Ne halimi soran biri vard\u0131, ne de i\u00e7imi d\u00f6kece\u011fim bir dost. \u2018Evim\u2019, diyebilece\u011fim bir yer de kalmam\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Elimde ne varsa, iki kad\u0131n\u0131n aras\u0131nda pay ederek, sanki bir y\u00fckten kurtulmu\u015ftum. Onlara bor\u00e7lu de\u011fildim. Ama daha ne isterlerse onlara vermeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015faca\u011f\u0131m\u0131 biliyordum. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc ikisine kar\u015f\u0131 su\u00e7luluk duygular\u0131yla dopdoluydum.<\/p>\n<p>Daha d\u00fcne kadar, her yazd\u0131\u011f\u0131m deneme okunur, yay\u0131mlayaca\u011f\u0131m kitap beklenir, yazd\u0131klar\u0131m \u00fcst\u00fcne yorumlara giri\u015filirdi. Sonra ne olmu\u015ftu da her \u015fey de\u011fi\u015fime u\u011fram\u0131\u015ft\u0131?\u00a0 U\u00e7suz bucaks\u0131z bir deniz sanki bir anda sular\u0131 \u00e7ekilerek t\u00fckenmi\u015fti. Limanlar\u0131 art\u0131k \u0131p\u0131ss\u0131zd\u0131; ula\u015f\u0131lmaz limanlard\u0131 art\u0131k o kentler; bundan b\u00f6yle oralardan yolculuklara \u00e7\u0131kan kimse olmayacakt\u0131. B\u00fct\u00fcn o limanlar da kimliklerini yitirmi\u015fler; benim gibi terk edilmi\u015flerdi. Ger\u00e7ekten \u00e7evremde hi\u00e7 kimse kalmam\u0131\u015ft\u0131. \u00dclkenin do\u011fusunu, G\u00fcneydo\u011fu\u2019yu kas\u0131p kavuran sava\u015f, Ortado\u011fu\u2019nun bir kan g\u00f6l\u00fcne d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015fmesi; yery\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fcn ge\u00e7mi\u015ften bug\u00fcne dek ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131 en b\u00fcy\u00fck g\u00f6\u00e7 dalgas\u0131 y\u00fcz\u00fcnden Ege\u2019nin, Akdeniz\u2019in s\u0131\u011f\u0131nmac\u0131lar i\u00e7in birer \u00f6l\u00fcm denizine d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015fmesi; bu ortamda her konuda yery\u00fcz\u00fc egemenli\u011fini ele ge\u00e7iren bir cehaletin,\u00a0 bilginin, erdemin yerini almas\u0131, bunalt\u0131c\u0131 bir karabasan de\u011fil miydi?\u00a0 Olgular, olaylar ya\u011fmuru b\u00f6ylesine indirirken, ben bitip t\u00fckenmez g\u00f6n\u00fcl ser\u00fcvenlerimle u\u011fra\u015f\u0131yordum. \u00dcstelik i\u00e7ine g\u00f6m\u00fcld\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm yaln\u0131zl\u0131k y\u00fcz\u00fcnden haks\u0131zl\u0131\u011fa u\u011frad\u0131\u011f\u0131ma da inan\u0131yordum.<\/p>\n<p>Yata\u011f\u0131m\u0131 \u015f\u00f6yle bir d\u00fczelttim. Yast\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 havaland\u0131rmak i\u00e7in u\u011fra\u015fmak bile beni zorlad\u0131. Solu\u011fum t\u0131kan\u0131r gibi oldu.<\/p>\n<p>Bu eve telefon ba\u011flatmam\u0131\u015ft\u0131m. Cep telefonumun son g\u00fcnlere dek bor\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6demi\u015ftim ama beni arayan soran olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131na g\u00f6re, ileti\u015fim olanaklar\u0131m\u0131n ne durumda oldu\u011fu pek de \u00f6nemli de\u011fildi. Hi\u00e7bir arayan\u0131m\u0131n kalmamas\u0131; kendimi unutturmam, daha iyi olmayacak m\u0131yd\u0131?<\/p>\n<p>Odadaki g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcm i\u00e7ler ac\u0131s\u0131yd\u0131:<\/p>\n<p>Ba\u015fucumda b\u00fcy\u00fck bir bo\u015fluk, yerde, d\u00fcn gece yar\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 i\u00e7ti\u011fim bir \u015fi\u015fe su. \u00a0Perdeler, do\u011fan g\u00fcn\u00fcn ilk \u0131\u015f\u0131mas\u0131yla bile ba\u015f edemeyeceklerinden hepten gereksiz birer bez par\u00e7as\u0131 gibi tavanda as\u0131l\u0131 kalm\u0131\u015f. Kar\u015f\u0131 duvara kapa\u011f\u0131 dayanm\u0131\u015f, i\u00e7indekilerin d\u0131\u015far\u0131ya ta\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131 bir bavul. K\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir masan\u0131n iki yan\u0131ndaki sandalyelerin \u00fcst\u00fcne savurarak atm\u0131\u015f oldu\u011fum giysilerim.<\/p>\n<p>D\u00fcn bu da\u011f\u0131n\u0131kl\u0131\u011f\u0131ma bir son vermek i\u00e7in biraz al\u0131\u015f-veri\u015f yapm\u0131\u015ft\u0131m. Elden-ayaktan kesilmeden kendime biraz \u00f6zen g\u00f6stermenin do\u011fru olaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcm. Hemen \u00e7ay\u0131m\u0131 demledim. On yumurtadan \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn\u00fc, ya\u011f\u0131 k\u0131zd\u0131rd\u0131\u011f\u0131m tavaya do\u011frad\u0131\u011f\u0131m maydanozlar\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcne k\u0131rd\u0131m. Maydanozlar\u0131 pek ba\u015ftan savma y\u0131kad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 biliyordum. \u0130yice ac\u0131km\u0131\u015ft\u0131m. Bu arada ekme\u011fin yar\u0131s\u0131n\u0131, berbat bir eritme peynir par\u00e7as\u0131yla birlikte mideme indirmi\u015ftim.<\/p>\n<p>Evdeki tek fincana ikinci \u00e7ay\u0131m\u0131 doldurduktan sonra, beni masan\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcnde \u00e7antas\u0131nda bekleyen bilgisayar\u0131ma uzand\u0131m. Neredeyse \u00fc\u00e7 haftad\u0131r el s\u00fcremedi\u011fim i\u00e7in yar\u0131m kalan bir \u00f6yk\u00fcyd\u00fc a\u00e7t\u0131\u011f\u0131m metin. \u0130ki sayfa boyunca anlat\u0131m\u0131n nereye uzanaca\u011f\u0131 kestirilmi\u015f de\u011fildi. Noktas\u0131n\u0131 bile koyamad\u0131\u011f\u0131m son t\u00fcmceleri okudum,<\/p>\n<p>Kendimle konu\u015fuyordum:\u00a0 \u201c\u00dcnal be, \u201c diyordum, \u201c Yazarlar, k\u00f6\u015fe-bucak saklarlar varl\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131; okuyucudan gizlenerek kalem oynat\u0131rlar. Sana gelince, hele \u015fu son \u00f6yk\u00fclerinde s\u00fcrekli kendini anlatt\u0131\u011f\u0131n apa\u00e7\u0131k ortada!\u201d<\/p>\n<p><em>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0\u201cAma \u201c, diye kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131k veriyordum kendime, \u201c Ben kendimi hi\u00e7 sevmem ki.. \u0130\u015fte bunun i\u00e7in, yazarken soluk al\u0131p vermeye ba\u015flayan kahramanlar\u0131m arac\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131yla ya\u015famdan da, kendimden de ka\u00e7maya \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131r\u0131m. \u00d6yk\u00fclerimde yaratt\u0131\u011f\u0131m bunca ki\u015finin arkas\u0131na b\u00fct\u00fcn \u015fu u\u011fra\u015f\u0131ma kar\u015f\u0131n yine de gizlenemiyorsam yaz\u0131klar olsun bana!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p>S\u00f6ylenenler do\u011fruydu. Benim tutkular\u0131m bile eskimi\u015fti. Bu \u00e7a\u011f\u0131n bi\u00e7ime ve h\u0131za d\u00fc\u015fk\u00fcnl\u00fc\u011f\u00fc, kendini s\u00fcrekli yenileyen her \u015feye yer a\u00e7\u0131yor, yol veriyordu. Kendini s\u00fcrekli yenilemekle bi\u00e7im bulan bu zaman diliminde, kayg\u0131lara, sevdalara, i\u00e7ten ba\u011fl\u0131l\u0131klara yer yoktu.\u00a0\u00a0 Parmaklar\u0131m kendi ba\u015f\u0131na klavyenin \u00fcst\u00fcnde dola\u015fmaya ba\u015flam\u0131\u015ft\u0131:<\/p>\n<p><em>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201c\u015eu eskimesini s\u00fcrd\u00fcren, ya\u015fl\u0131 bedeninden s\u0131yr\u0131l\u0131p \u00e7\u0131kmal\u0131yd\u0131. An\u0131lar\u0131yla ya\u015famak \u00e7ok ac\u0131 bir cezaland\u0131rmayd\u0131 onun i\u00e7in. Ne var ki, kimseye yepyeni hazlara y\u00f6nelerek ya da \u00f6lmek i\u00e7in ya\u015famak, diye se\u00e7enekler sunulmuyordu. S\u00fcr\u00fckleni\u015fti bunlar. \u0130kisi de ayn\u0131 bo\u015flu\u011fa a\u00e7\u0131lan kap\u0131lard\u0131. \u201c<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Art\u0131k hi\u00e7bir \u015fey yazmak istemiyordum. Bir iki s\u00f6zc\u00fckle bile olsa bir betimlemeye giri\u015fsen, bunca saplant\u0131l\u0131 bu \u00e7evrede duyulmaz da, okunmaz da. \u00dcstelik de sorarlar, \u2018 Bu neyin hik\u00e2yesini anlat\u0131yor yahu?\u2019 Her anlat\u0131m\u0131n, bir \u00f6znelli\u011fi, bir mahremiyeti par\u00e7alara ay\u0131rarak, kalabal\u0131klar\u0131n didikleyen bak\u0131\u015flar\u0131na sunmas\u0131 gerekiyormu\u015f gibi o korkun\u00e7 dikizcilik her an tetiktedir. \u00c7ocuklar i\u00e7in yaz\u0131lan yeni masallar bile \u00e7ok de\u011fi\u015fti. \u0130nsan\u0131n, daha do\u011far do\u011fmaz ya\u015fam\u0131 kucaklamay\u0131 de\u011fil de, \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fc kan\u0131ksamay\u0131 \u00f6\u011frendi\u011fine inanaca\u011f\u0131m neredeyse.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a06\/May\u0131s\/2016<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>BO\u015eLU\u011eA YAZMAK \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Uyand\u0131m. B\u00fct\u00fcn eklemlerim kilitlenmi\u015fti sanki. Evde yaln\u0131z oldu\u011fumun neden sonra ay\u0131rt\u0131na vard\u0131m. \u0130kinci kez evlendi\u011fimde kendimi \u00f6yle bir sevda \u00e7emberi i\u00e7inde g\u00f6r\u00fcyordum ki, o b\u00fcy\u00fclenmi\u015fli\u011fi anlatamam. T\u00fcm ge\u00e7mi\u015fimi silmek istiyordum. Kar\u015f\u0131la\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131m bu gen\u00e7 kad\u0131n, iri elleriyle beni yakalad\u0131\u011f\u0131 gibi yepyeni bir gelece\u011fe s\u00fcr\u00fckl\u00fcyordu. Her an bana dokunuyor, parmaklar\u0131n\u0131 omzuma, elime kenetlemeden yapam\u0131yordu. Bir duyu olarak dokunmay\u0131 bana an\u0131msatmas\u0131n\u0131, bir sevi\u015fme \u00e7a\u011fr\u0131s\u0131 olarak alg\u0131l\u0131yor, kucaklan\u0131\u015f\u0131m\u0131 k\u0131van\u00e7la \u00f6z\u00fcms\u00fcyordum.\u00a0 Onunla sonsuza dek birlikte ya\u015famay\u0131 g\u00f6n\u00fclden istiyordum. \u0130\u015fte bu ko\u015fulsuz teslimiyetim, sevdi\u011fim o kad\u0131nca kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131ks\u0131z b\u0131rak\u0131l\u0131r olmu\u015ftu.\u00a0 \u00c7\u0131lg\u0131nca, tutkulu, alabildi\u011fine sak\u0131nmas\u0131z sevgi g\u00f6sterilerimi, art\u0131k geri \u00e7eviriyordu. B\u00fct\u00fcn parasal sunumlar\u0131m\u0131, verdi\u011fim arma\u011fanlar\u0131 &hellip; <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1135,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[11],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1168","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-oykuleri"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ziyagurel.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1168","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ziyagurel.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ziyagurel.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ziyagurel.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ziyagurel.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1168"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/ziyagurel.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1168\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1169,"href":"https:\/\/ziyagurel.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1168\/revisions\/1169"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ziyagurel.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1135"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ziyagurel.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1168"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ziyagurel.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1168"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ziyagurel.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1168"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}