\u201cGer\u00e7e\u011fin \u00e7o\u011fu zaman b\u00fcy\u00fck bir b\u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fc kurgular\u0131m\u0131zla \u00f6rt\u00fclm\u00fc\u015f haliyle kar\u015f\u0131m\u0131za \u00e7\u0131kar.\u201d
\nRicardo Piglia,\u2019Kurmaca ve Ele\u015ftiri\u2019
\n(Delidolu Yay.-\u2018Kurmaca ve Ele\u015ftiri\u2019-\u00c7ev.Murat Tanakol-Mart-2021)<\/p>\n
O gece uyand\u0131k\u00e7a ya\u011fmurun hi\u00e7 durmadan ya\u011fd\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 dinleyerek yeniden uykuya d\u00f6n\u00fcyordum. \u0130ki uyku aras\u0131nda \u00e7oktan beridir r\u00fcyalar\u0131mda olsun, uzun s\u00fcredir kar\u015f\u0131la\u015famad\u0131\u011f\u0131m anac\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 arada bir benim d\u00fc\u015f t\u00fcnellerimde gezindi\u011fini; uzaktan uza\u011fa beni izledi\u011fini g\u00f6rmeye ba\u015flam\u0131\u015ft\u0131m. Bu kez ben \u2018Bana s\u00f6yleyecekleri mi var,\u2019 diye merakla annemin pe\u015fine d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcm. O denli ger\u00e7eklerin i\u00e7inde, hem de d\u00fc\u015flere yak\u0131nd\u0131m ki, nas\u0131l davranaca\u011f\u0131m\u0131 bilemiyordum.<\/p>\n
Derin bir uykunun evreni yenileyen t\u00fcm kolyl\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131 ele ge\u00e7irmi\u015ftim. Uzun ad\u0131mlarla hemen \u00f6n\u00fcmde anneme yakla\u015fmam art\u0131k kolay g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcyordu. Beni hen\u00fcz g\u00f6rmemi\u015fti. \u0130yice yakla\u015fm\u0131\u015ft\u0131m. \u00d6l\u00fcm\u00fcnden hemen \u00f6nce s\u00f6yledi\u011fi o son s\u00f6zlerini yineliyordu: \u201cTamam, peki, \u015fimdi ne olacak?\u201d<\/p>\n
Bu s\u00f6zleri s\u00f6yledikten hemen sonra kendinden ge\u00e7mi\u015f, derin bir komaya girmi\u015fti. Yak\u0131nlar\u0131ndan, sevdiklerinden ayr\u0131lmak ona \u00e7ok g\u00fc\u00e7 geliyordu. Arkas\u0131ndan kolumu omzuna att\u0131m. \u00d6l\u00fcm\u00fcnden \u00f6nce oldu\u011fu gibi soluk solu\u011fayd\u0131. Ona uzatt\u0131\u011f\u0131m kolum bo\u015flu\u011fa b\u0131rak\u0131lm\u0131\u015f gibi d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc. Y\u00fcz\u00fcne e\u011fildim. \u00c7izgiler deinle\u015fmi\u015f, bitkinli\u011fi g\u00f6zlerinden okunuyordu. Onun nas\u0131l \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcnden \u00e7ok \u00f6nceki gibi bir yerlere yeti\u015fecekmi\u015f gibi h\u0131zl\u0131 y\u00fcr\u00fcyebildi\u011fine \u015fa\u015fm\u0131\u015ft\u0131m. Bana yava\u015f\u00e7a, \u201cO\u011flum sen misin? Geldin mi,\u201d diye sordu. Hemen ard\u0131ndan kendisini izlememi s\u00f6yleyerek, \u00f6n\u00fcm\u00fczde sonsuzca uzayan yolda ilerlemeye ba\u015flad\u0131. Art\u0131k her ad\u0131mda ba\u015fka bir \u00fclkeye ad\u0131m at\u0131yorduk. G\u00fcc\u00fcm t\u00fckenmi\u015fti. B\u00fcy\u00fck bir derinli\u011fin i\u00e7inden, yukar\u0131lara s\u00fcz\u00fclerek uyand\u0131m. Arkamdan sesleni\u015fi bug\u00fcn an\u0131msad\u0131k\u00e7a yine kulaklar\u0131mda \u00e7\u0131nlar.<\/p>\n
2
\n05\/01\/2022<\/p>\n
G\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm her d\u00fc\u015f\u00fc uyan\u0131r uyanmaz unutuyorum. Uyand\u0131\u011f\u0131m andan sonra beni kar\u015f\u0131layan g\u00f6rsellik, ger\u00e7ekli\u011fiyle bana daha m\u0131 ilgin\u00e7 geliyor , diye kendime ka\u00e7 kez sordum. Kendimden hi\u00e7bir yan\u0131t alamad\u0131m. Asl\u0131nda, bilirsiniz, y\u0131llar \u00f6nce ben bu i\u011freti yolda, yerine tam oturmam\u0131\u015f ta\u015flar\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcnde tangur-tungur epeyce yol alm\u0131\u015ft\u0131m. Bindi\u011fim at; s\u00fcrd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm arabalar art\u0131k yoruldu. Ama yine de, kurgular\u0131m ve r\u00fcyalar\u0131m \u00e7o\u011fu zaman kararla\u015ft\u0131rd\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z noktada birbirlerini kucaklamakta. Benim bundan b\u00f6yle ayr\u0131 bir b\u00fct\u00fcnlemeye giri\u015fmeme gerek kalmad\u0131. Sanki ger\u00e7eklerle d\u00fc\u015fler aras\u0131ndaki ge\u00e7irgenlik olduk\u00e7a artt\u0131.<\/p>\n
Bu gece \u00e7ok farkl\u0131 bir durum var. Her mekan, sanki benim i\u00e7inde do\u011fup b\u00fcy\u00fcd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm yerler kadar tan\u0131d\u0131k bana. Kar\u015f\u0131la\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131m ki\u015filer de \u00f6yle. O ki\u015filerin hi\u00e7birinin ad\u0131n\u0131 bilmesem de hepsi de kendime \u00e7ok yak\u0131n bulduklar\u0131m, \u00e7ok sevgili dostlar\u0131m. \u00d6ylesine b\u00fcy\u00fck bir rahatl\u0131kla soluk al\u0131yordum ki, ne zaman uykuya dald\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 anlayamad\u0131m.<\/p>\n
Ola\u011fan\u00fcst\u00fc geni\u015f bir alanda buluyorum kendimi. Hemen \u00f6n\u00fcmde k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck dalgalar\u0131yla k\u0131y\u0131y\u0131 ok\u015fayan bir deniz. K\u0131y\u0131n\u0131n a\u00e7\u0131klar\u0131nda tonlar iyice kirli bir griyle koyula\u015f\u0131yor, ye\u015fil patlamalarla uyar\u0131lm\u0131\u015f bir lacivert o anda t\u00fcm ufku kapl\u0131yor. Bu yakla\u015fan f\u0131rt\u0131nan\u0131n belirtisi. Ad\u0131mlad\u0131\u011f\u0131m kumsal\u0131n belli belirsiz g\u00f6r\u00fcnen derinli\u011finde sanki terkedilmi\u015f bir kent var. Onun hemen kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda; sa\u011f\u0131mda kahverengi derinlikleryle bir orman uzan\u0131yor.<\/p>\n
\u00dcst\u00fcme birden \u00e7\u00f6ken bitkinlikle kara da, deniz de bendan daha da uzakla\u015f\u0131yor. Denizden uzakla\u015fabildi\u011fimce uzakla\u015f\u0131p, bir sazl\u0131\u011f\u0131n o al\u00e7ak saplar\u0131n\u0131n korumas\u0131na s\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131yorum. Art\u0131k ilk uykumdan da derin bir ikinci uykuya dalmak i\u00e7in kumlar\u0131n yumu\u015fak kuca\u011f\u0131na kendimi b\u0131rak\u0131yorum. Kendimi tang\u0131rt\u0131larla ilerleyen bir otob\u00fcste buluyorum. Sanki yery\u00fcz\u00fcnde kullan\u0131lan son toplu ta\u015f\u0131ma arac\u0131n\u0131n son seferi imi\u015f gibi, ge\u00e7mi\u015fimden an\u0131msad\u0131\u011f\u0131m herkes; bug\u00fcn ya\u015fam\u0131 payla\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131m bir\u00e7ok ki\u015fi buradalar. Nas\u0131l da hepimiz s\u0131\u011f\u0131\u015fabilmi\u015fiz tek otob\u00fcse? San\u0131r\u0131m herkes ayn\u0131 soruyu soruyor. Ve her yolcu kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131ndakini kurtulunmas\u0131 gereken bir zararl\u0131 olarak g\u00f6r\u00fcyor. Benim duygular\u0131m da bu k\u00f6t\u00fcc\u00fcl lekelerle gittik\u00e7e kirlenmekte. Bunu seziyorum. Bu d\u00fc\u015fmanl\u0131k kaynayan ortamdan kurtulmam gerek. Sonunda g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fckle o derin
\nuykudan s\u0131yr\u0131labiliyorum.<\/p>\n
3
\n30\/ Ocak\/ 2022
\nDanseden K\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 Barbunlar<\/p>\n
\u00c7ok berrak mavilikleri olan, arada bir z\u00fcmr\u00fct ye\u015fili par\u0131lt\u0131lara b\u00fcr\u00fcnen bir denizde olduk\u00e7a a\u00e7\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 farkediyorum. K\u0131y\u0131ya yakla\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131mda bir korunakl\u0131 koyun \u0131\u015f\u0131ldad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fcyorum. Ku\u015fadas\u0131 k\u0131y\u0131lar\u0131ndan y\u00fczmeye ba\u015flad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 an\u0131msad\u0131\u011f\u0131mdan, bu denli \u00e7abucak \u0130da da\u011f\u0131n\u0131n k\u0131y\u0131yla kucakla\u015fan orman\u0131na ula\u015fmam olas\u0131 de\u011fil. Bebek Zeus\u2019u s\u00fct annesinin kuca\u011f\u0131nda g\u00f6r\u00fcr gibiyim. Burada su biraz daha serin. Soluklanmak i\u00e7in bir kristal kayaya ili\u015fip derin bir i\u00e7 \u00e7eki\u015fle s\u0131kla\u015fan nefeslerimi yat\u0131\u015ft\u0131rmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rken Beethoven\u2019\u0131n \u00c7ingene Kaprislerinden birini (Rondo A Capriccioza-Op. 129) akl\u0131mdan ge\u00e7irdi\u011fim anda ayaklar\u0131m\u0131n \u00e7evresini saran k\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 Barbun bal\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131n hafif \u00e7\u0131rp\u0131nt\u0131l\u0131 su y\u00fczeyine \u00e7\u0131karak, kuyruklar\u0131n\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcnde dimdik k\u0131vranarak dansetmeye ba\u015fl\u0131yorlar. \u00c7evrem gittik\u00e7e kalabal\u0131kla\u015f\u0131yor. 2008
\ny\u0131l\u0131nda yitirdi\u011fim annem, hemen yan\u0131ba\u015f\u0131mda; Belgin, k\u0131zlar\u0131mla birlikte ileride bir kayal\u0131\u011fa oturmu\u015flar; \u015fair day\u0131m Halil Kocag\u00f6z co\u015fku i\u00e7inde hem dansa kat\u0131lmakta, hem de bal\u0131klar\u0131n g\u00f6sterisini izlemekteler. Suyun alt\u0131nda bir kuytudan dev bir Caretta \u00e7\u0131karak, o iri bedenine \u00e7ok yak\u0131\u015fan devinimlerle dansa kat\u0131l\u0131yor. Ne var ki Caretta carettan\u0131n \u00fcrk\u00fcten irili\u011fine kap\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131m i\u00e7in m\u00fczi\u011fi d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmeyi b\u0131rakt\u0131\u011f\u0131m i\u00e7in dans duruyor. Kendimi toparlay\u0131p m\u00fczi\u011fin
\n\u00f6zg\u00fcr ritmine d\u00f6n\u00fcn\u00fcyorum. B\u00fcy\u00fck day\u0131m Samim Kocag\u00f6z arkamdan omzuma dokunarak,<\/p>\n
– Hah! \u015eimdi oldu , diye seslenerek yapt\u0131klar\u0131m\u0131 onayl\u0131yor. Birden yitip \u00f6b\u00fcr D\u00fcnyaya giden sevdiklerimin an\u0131lar\u0131 bir anda beni derin bir h\u00fczn\u00fcn i\u00e7inde eritse de ritim durmuyor. Dans\u0131m\u0131z s\u00fcr\u00fcp gidiyor.<\/p>\n
(*)- Sevim Burak, \u201cMektuplar\u0131n\u2019da \u015f\u00f6yle seslenir:<\/p>\n
\u201cBenden \u015fu d\u00fcnyada ne beklenebilir? Ne kadar uza\u011f\u0131m her \u015feyden. Sanat\u0131mdan nas\u0131l bahsedebilirim \u015fu d\u00fcnyadakilere. Bunu saklamam gerek. (………) Tek \u00e7eli\u015fkim insanlar ve d\u00fcnya. Kapal\u0131 perdelerin arkas\u0131nda d\u00fc\u015f, uyku, korku ge\u00e7iriyorum. Kafka de\u011filim. Sanat\u0131m\u0131n d\u00fc\u015f oldu\u011funu biliyorum. Bir yandan d\u00fc\u015f g\u00f6rerek, bir yandan uyan\u0131k ya\u015fayarak deli oluyorum. (……) Yeter art\u0131k. Her \u015feyi biliyorum. Ne ili\u015fkisi var yazd\u0131klar\u0131m\u0131n \u015fu suratlarla? \u015eu ayd\u0131nl\u0131kta, her \u015feyin belirdi\u011fi yerde ne i\u015fim var? D\u00fc\u015f g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcme \u00f6ylesine eminim ki, \u015fu ba\u015fkalar\u0131n\u0131n ya\u015fam\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6rmesem…\u201d<\/p>\n
(Sevim Burak- \u201cMektuplar\u201d- Biri Yay\u0131nlar\u0131-Kas\u0131-2020- Yay\u0131na haz\u0131rlayanlar: A. Karaca Borar- Hasan G\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc Kaya)
\n(**)- De\u011ferli Bilim \u0130nsan\u0131 T\u00fcrker K\u0131l\u0131\u00e7,\u0130nsan\u0131n \u00fc\u00e7 kez do\u011fdu\u011funu \u015f\u00f6yle a\u00e7\u0131klar: \u201c\u0130lkinde annesinden (genetik); yirmilerinde se\u00e7imlerinden (epigenetik); k\u0131rk ya\u015flar\u0131nda ise hatalar\u0131ndan. Ya da insan k\u0131rk\u0131nda kendisi i\u00e7in kararlar almaya haz\u0131r duruma geldi\u011finden, i\u00e7ine do\u011fdu\u011fu k\u00fclt\u00fcr\u00fcn kendisi hakk\u0131nda ald\u0131\u011f\u0131 kararlarla \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcnc\u00fc kez do\u011far.\u201d (T\u00fcrker K\u0131l\u0131\u00e7-\u201cYeni Bilim ; BA\u011eLANTISALLIK- Yeni K\u00fclt\u00fcr; \u201cYA\u015eAMDA\u015eLIK\u201d<\/p>\n
\u2013Ayr\u0131nt\u0131 Bilim Yay\u0131nlar\u0131-2021 -Covid 19\u2019 Salg\u0131n\u0131n\u0131n yeni bir k\u00fclt\u00fcr yaratt\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan s\u00f6z a\u00e7an Beyin Cerrah\u0131,
\nd\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnce ve bilim insan\u0131 K\u0131l\u0131\u00e7, \u201cBundan b\u00f6yle insanl\u0131\u011f\u0131n kendisiyle birlikte Ya\u015famda\u015f olanlara virusu
\nbula\u015ft\u0131rmamak i\u00e7in maske kullanma al\u0131\u015fkanl\u0131\u011f\u0131 edinirken kendisini de korudu\u011fundan s\u00f6z eder.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\u201cGer\u00e7e\u011fin \u00e7o\u011fu zaman b\u00fcy\u00fck bir b\u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fc kurgular\u0131m\u0131zla \u00f6rt\u00fclm\u00fc\u015f haliyle kar\u015f\u0131m\u0131za \u00e7\u0131kar.\u201d Ricardo Piglia,\u2019Kurmaca ve Ele\u015ftiri\u2019 (Delidolu Yay.-\u2018Kurmaca ve Ele\u015ftiri\u2019-\u00c7ev.Murat Tanakol-Mart-2021) O gece uyand\u0131k\u00e7a ya\u011fmurun hi\u00e7 durmadan ya\u011fd\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 dinleyerek yeniden uykuya d\u00f6n\u00fcyordum. \u0130ki uyku aras\u0131nda \u00e7oktan beridir r\u00fcyalar\u0131mda olsun, uzun s\u00fcredir kar\u015f\u0131la\u015famad\u0131\u011f\u0131m anac\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 arada bir benim d\u00fc\u015f t\u00fcnellerimde gezindi\u011fini; uzaktan uza\u011fa beni izledi\u011fini g\u00f6rmeye ba\u015flam\u0131\u015ft\u0131m. Bu kez ben \u2018Bana s\u00f6yleyecekleri mi var,\u2019 diye merakla annemin pe\u015fine d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcm. O denli ger\u00e7eklerin i\u00e7inde, hem de d\u00fc\u015flere yak\u0131nd\u0131m ki, nas\u0131l davranaca\u011f\u0131m\u0131 bilemiyordum. Derin bir uykunun evreni yenileyen t\u00fcm kolyl\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131 ele ge\u00e7irmi\u015ftim. Uzun ad\u0131mlarla hemen \u00f6n\u00fcmde anneme yakla\u015fmam art\u0131k kolay g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcyordu. Beni hen\u00fcz g\u00f6rmemi\u015fti. \u0130yice … <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":765,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-754","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-kitaplari"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ziyagurel.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/754","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ziyagurel.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ziyagurel.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ziyagurel.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ziyagurel.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=754"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/ziyagurel.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/754\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":981,"href":"https:\/\/ziyagurel.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/754\/revisions\/981"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ziyagurel.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/765"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ziyagurel.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=754"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ziyagurel.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=754"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ziyagurel.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=754"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}